An open letter to anyone feeling the same
Between work, YouTube, designing a new line of my Bent Apparel, personal issues, and more, I haven't had time to create the kind of content I want to create, but it's been on my mind every damn day, along with a lot of other thoughts as well. Because of the dedication on your end towards this project of mine (which I love), I want to make sure I am doing the same and not just posting stuff just to post.
Anyways, the point of this post isn't to praise you, although you truly deserve to be praised – the point of this is to sit down and just write and discuss the feeling I have been dealing with over the last few weeks, which is feeling lost.
I feel like I hear so many of my late teen/early-twentysomething friends discuss this feeling of being lost more than any other feeling. And it makes sense. There are so many changes occurring, whether it's going to college, passing classes, dealing with your sexuality, getting a full time job, coping with anxiety or depression, the list goes on. With all these changes and pressures, it's super hard to figure out what it is that makes you want to wake up in the morning because we are so busy trying to make other people happy or to pass a class or so on.
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I guess what I'm trying to say is that feeling lost sucks, and that it is unavoidable. It sucks sitting at a desk trying to find the words to describe what it's like to not know yourself for the first time in what feels like forever. It sucks having friends or family ask, "what makes you happy" and truly not knowing what the answer is – or knowing the answer but knowing you can't give all your time and energy to what it is that makes you happy. It sucks waking up each morning and wondering if you will find that thing that makes you happy.
But that's the thing. It doesn't suck.
Yes, these moments are hard, and these feelings are valid. Trust me. I am in the thick of it. But what a luxury it is to wake up to a brand new day. Literally, as I am writing this, I am realizing that while feeling lost may seem like my entire world is crashing down, it's actually an opportunity to reevaluate my life and keep the things currently in it that are nice and beautiful and removing the toxicity and entities that bring me down. Without this idea of feeling lost, I wouldn't try to get to know myself better. Without this idea of feeling lost, I wouldn't be thinking about what it is that makes me happy and if I am pursuing that.
It may seem like your entire world is crashing down, but maybe this feeling of being lost is a way of waking you up so you can build a whole new world for yourself – a world that you are truly happy in.