LAUGHABLE

Texts To My Friends

Texting has never been so real.

Chris Klemens

I like to think that I am a pretty funny person without really trying.

If you have a different stance on that statement, please feel free to keep your opinions to yourself. I find myself texting my friends things that I feel like the average person wouldn't say, let alone text, but are thinking the whole time. Thus the birth of "Texts To My Friends". 

This is the pinnacle of my narcissism where I compile a "Best of" list of actual texts I send to actual people. I know...this is some Buzzfeed level shit I'm serving up.


1. I didn't learn how to do taxes in college, but I did learn this skill...

2. It takes an aggressive asswipe to know an aggressive ass wipe...

3. But, like, I'm not wrong...

4. Nothing better than Halloween to see how truly self-aware you are...

5. Looks like I had one Chipotle too many...

6. Don't do drugs, kids...

7. Jesus didn't die for this...I mean, he kinda did....

8. Channeling my inner "Facebook mom with a glass full of Pinot Grigio"...

9. Okay, Maury....

10. Still unsure which it was, but at least I don't have to pee anymore...

11. Can-eth you fucking not-eth...

12. Clearly genetics and the English language don't work in my favor...

13. When your friend thinks they're getting nudes...

14. Cool story, tell it again...

15. I'm a real thinker...

16. I mean, I'm no doctor but...

17. "It was just one of those weeks", I say every week...

18. See, I knew the second side of fries was necessary...

19. No matter what I text, I'll always have a friend who shows me up...